She can see Alfred, trapped inside of himself, desperately trying to claw his way out. She squeezes his arms and starts to pull him closer, only for his hands to wrap tight about her wrists, the sharp points of his claws penetrating her flesh and tearing a startled cry from her throat. It stings, but she can barely focus on that pain over the ache in her chest as his bitter words cut through her very soul.
But your Master will need you.
She will never unhear that seething, nigh mocking tone. Worse still, she will never unsee this look in his eyes, this begrudging, hateful gaze as he spits those bitter words in her face. Even as he recovers himself for a moment, even as he apologizes and disappears once more, she's left with the stinging in her wrists and in her heart as she gasps for air, staring forward into the dark, empty ballroom.
There's nothing she can do to change this. Her Master does need her. They both do. If she could split herself in two to take care of them both, she would in an instant. But that's not their reality. There is only one of her and even if she wanted to make a choice-- which she absolutely does not --it looks like the choice is being made for her either way. It was always going to be this way.
Even without the blood bond between them, she would choose Alucard for reasons she still believed in, to this day. He chose her, after all. He was like family to her. Hell, he's the only family she has. But she wouldn't get to explain that to Alfred, he didn't want to hear it.
It takes her several agonizing moments to come back to herself, to stop playing those words on repeat in her mind long enough to find her bearings and try to leave. Her body carries on without her as she struggles, stumbling through the dark room towards the hall and reaching out for the wall for support. Her eyes are downcast, vision hazy, able to see just enough to keep from tripping over the debris strewn across the stone floor. She can't stay here. He wants her gone. Her Master will need her.
Alfred stands at the entryway, blocking her escape. He appears to still be battling with himself, some part of him still fighting to find his way out... but she doesn't feel strong enough to help, anymore. She's worried that seeing her will set him off again, but she doesn't know how else she can leave.
Shit.
What could one more attempt hurt? They've already come this far.
Seras does not announce herself when she reaches out for him this time, she doesn't call his name. One paw reaches out for his arm to pull herself to him, against his back, the other arm wrapping around him to place a paw on his chest, embracing him as gently as she can manage from behind. She buries her face between his shoulders, muffling a soft sob into the silk of his blouse, curling her digits in it as she tightens her embrace.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2022-06-11 06:57 am (UTC)She can see Alfred, trapped inside of himself, desperately trying to claw his way out. She squeezes his arms and starts to pull him closer, only for his hands to wrap tight about her wrists, the sharp points of his claws penetrating her flesh and tearing a startled cry from her throat. It stings, but she can barely focus on that pain over the ache in her chest as his bitter words cut through her very soul.
But your Master will need you.
She will never unhear that seething, nigh mocking tone. Worse still, she will never unsee this look in his eyes, this begrudging, hateful gaze as he spits those bitter words in her face. Even as he recovers himself for a moment, even as he apologizes and disappears once more, she's left with the stinging in her wrists and in her heart as she gasps for air, staring forward into the dark, empty ballroom.
There's nothing she can do to change this. Her Master does need her. They both do. If she could split herself in two to take care of them both, she would in an instant. But that's not their reality. There is only one of her and even if she wanted to make a choice-- which she absolutely does not --it looks like the choice is being made for her either way. It was always going to be this way.
Even without the blood bond between them, she would choose Alucard for reasons she still believed in, to this day. He chose her, after all. He was like family to her. Hell, he's the only family she has. But she wouldn't get to explain that to Alfred, he didn't want to hear it.
It takes her several agonizing moments to come back to herself, to stop playing those words on repeat in her mind long enough to find her bearings and try to leave. Her body carries on without her as she struggles, stumbling through the dark room towards the hall and reaching out for the wall for support. Her eyes are downcast, vision hazy, able to see just enough to keep from tripping over the debris strewn across the stone floor. She can't stay here. He wants her gone. Her Master will need her.
Alfred stands at the entryway, blocking her escape. He appears to still be battling with himself, some part of him still fighting to find his way out... but she doesn't feel strong enough to help, anymore. She's worried that seeing her will set him off again, but she doesn't know how else she can leave.
Shit.
What could one more attempt hurt? They've already come this far.
Seras does not announce herself when she reaches out for him this time, she doesn't call his name. One paw reaches out for his arm to pull herself to him, against his back, the other arm wrapping around him to place a paw on his chest, embracing him as gently as she can manage from behind. She buries her face between his shoulders, muffling a soft sob into the silk of his blouse, curling her digits in it as she tightens her embrace.
"I'm sorry."