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Good enough.
Alfred's eyeline dips down to where his hand is being held, stroked...and when it raises again, his gaze is full of tears.
He's good enough.
"Thank you," he mumbles, hoarse. He very much wants to climb into the Count's arms, be held there until everything he's feeling makes some kind of sense...but he has a lap full of books.
So all Georg gets for now is the sense of longing, a want for closeness that is (at least mostly) sweet, innocent.
"...It's...hard to get used to, thinking of myself that way."
Alfred's eyeline dips down to where his hand is being held, stroked...and when it raises again, his gaze is full of tears.
He's good enough.
"Thank you," he mumbles, hoarse. He very much wants to climb into the Count's arms, be held there until everything he's feeling makes some kind of sense...but he has a lap full of books.
So all Georg gets for now is the sense of longing, a want for closeness that is (at least mostly) sweet, innocent.
"...It's...hard to get used to, thinking of myself that way."
Georg remembers the first time he and Alfred had a real talk. How Alfred had pulled him close and held him tight, and how that action felt like it melted away, at least temporarily, all his woes.
And so he takes the stack of books from Alfred's lap to set aside and pulls him close, to rest in his lap, held against his chest while Georg gently strokes his back.
"It will take some time, I'm sure. But Herbert and I will be here to remind you, every day."
And so he takes the stack of books from Alfred's lap to set aside and pulls him close, to rest in his lap, held against his chest while Georg gently strokes his back.
"It will take some time, I'm sure. But Herbert and I will be here to remind you, every day."
It's a surprise, being pulled onto Georg's lap, being wrapped in his arms this way...but a welcome one. He rests his cheek against the older vampire's chest, purring softly in the back of his throat as his back is stroked.
Gently, he snakes his arms around the Count's torso, softly holding him back.
"...That means...more than I can say."
A little sniffle, a beat of hesitation, and then:
"I - I have come to love the both of you, you know. Very much."
Gently, he snakes his arms around the Count's torso, softly holding him back.
"...That means...more than I can say."
A little sniffle, a beat of hesitation, and then:
"I - I have come to love the both of you, you know. Very much."
The gesture, the confession touches Georg's cold, dead heart in a way he hadn't expected. He and Sarah desire each other, certainly. And perhaps will one day grow to love each other. But what he feels for Alfred is so different from what he feels for Sarah, and it startles and confuses him.
Softly, gently, he presses a kiss to Alfred's hair. "And I you, my dear boy."
Softly, gently, he presses a kiss to Alfred's hair. "And I you, my dear boy."
Alfred makes a soft little purring sound at the kiss - perhaps just as confused as Georg about the turn this has taken. He meant what he said, about loving them both.
But he's..a little confused about it, too. His love for Herbert is something impossibly deep, something that echoes back through his whole soul. But what he feels for Georg is...not entirely platonic, either, is it?
And yet, here he is, whatever kind of love it is reciprocated.
Part of him wants to ask, but...the other part just wants to sit with it for a while.
But...there is...something nagging at him.
"I...I do have...a little...question."
But he's..a little confused about it, too. His love for Herbert is something impossibly deep, something that echoes back through his whole soul. But what he feels for Georg is...not entirely platonic, either, is it?
And yet, here he is, whatever kind of love it is reciprocated.
Part of him wants to ask, but...the other part just wants to sit with it for a while.
But...there is...something nagging at him.
"I...I do have...a little...question."
"Yes of course," he murmurs against Alfred's hair, nuzzling there gently. Enjoying the simple feeling of Alfred's body against his. It feels comfortable, and comfort is something he sorely lacks in.
"You may ask me anything you like. Always."
"You may ask me anything you like. Always."
George chuckles softly and noses at Alfred's temple. "I am, yes. And before you worry too much, both Herbert and Sarah know about my feelings towards you. Herbert suspected already." Sarah didn't quite understand, but she made it clear that so long as Georg kept coming back to her, she didn't much care.
"I saw you in the window of the inn the night you arrived, lit by candlelight. I found you strikingly beautiful."
"I saw you in the window of the inn the night you arrived, lit by candlelight. I found you strikingly beautiful."
That is...more of an answer than he even expected. He reddens yet again, jaw dropping for a moment as he lifts his head enough to look at Georg, to read his expression.
He's being sincere. Alfred's chest feels warm and a shiver runs down his spine at the same time.
"...You...think I...am beautiful?" He's gotten used to hearing that from Herbert, but - Georg?
His brows knit together in clear confusion.
"...Wait, they both...know?"
He's being sincere. Alfred's chest feels warm and a shiver runs down his spine at the same time.
"...You...think I...am beautiful?" He's gotten used to hearing that from Herbert, but - Georg?
His brows knit together in clear confusion.
"...Wait, they both...know?"
"And they will wait, until you're better."
He settles in and gets comfortable as Alfred brushes his hair, humming happily at the feeling of the brush and Alfred's fingers carefully picking through the knots in his hair.
He'd been expecting a French braid, perhaps. But Alfred's parting his hair in a new and different way, and Herbert's brow furrows in confusion. "What are you doing back there, cheri?"
He settles in and gets comfortable as Alfred brushes his hair, humming happily at the feeling of the brush and Alfred's fingers carefully picking through the knots in his hair.
He'd been expecting a French braid, perhaps. But Alfred's parting his hair in a new and different way, and Herbert's brow furrows in confusion. "What are you doing back there, cheri?"
"Of course. We...we have lots of time, after all."
Alfred always takes on a different tone of voice when he's Doing Something - a soft, meditative tone, gentle and calm. This really does relax him, doting on Herbert in little ways like this, winding his long, silky hair around his fingers.
He passes strands this way and that - the pattern is new, but his hands seem to know it.
"Just trying something different," he murmurs with a smile. "I wanted to...to focus a little harder on you, Engel, so I'm doing something tricky."
Alfred always takes on a different tone of voice when he's Doing Something - a soft, meditative tone, gentle and calm. This really does relax him, doting on Herbert in little ways like this, winding his long, silky hair around his fingers.
He passes strands this way and that - the pattern is new, but his hands seem to know it.
"Just trying something different," he murmurs with a smile. "I wanted to...to focus a little harder on you, Engel, so I'm doing something tricky."
"Well I'd love to see it, when you're done." Alfred's tone goes a long way towards relaxing him, as well. Hearing him sound contented and pleased, not in pain. It gives him hope that Alfred will heal and get better.
"I'm absolutely certain that I will." He reaches back to pat Alfred's knee. He keeps his back straight so that Alfred could properly finish his hair. It's nice, to have a moment like this after such a trying experience. Just a chance to spend some time with Alfred quietly.
Alfred smiles, warm and gentle, enjoying the touch. On impulse, he leans forward a moment, resting a soft little kiss on the nape of Herbert's neck. "I love you, Engel." Said for no reason...now that he's gotten used to vocalizing it, he does it often - out loud, in psychic messages, in notes. It's become second nature.
Pulling back, he ties off the end of the braid, admiring his handiwork.
"There. I'm - I'm not really sure how I did it, but I think it looks good."
Pulling back, he ties off the end of the braid, admiring his handiwork.
"There. I'm - I'm not really sure how I did it, but I think it looks good."
Herbert carefully pulls the braid over his shoulder to look at it -- and if his heart were beating it would have stopped in his chest. It's the same braid Solin was constantly making in his hair.
The birthmark, the braid. Alfred calling him my dear. The overwhelming feeling of familiarity and comfort he feels around Alfred. It can't be.
Could it?
"Did you -- Alfred, this looks lovely," he says first, his voice slightly choked. "Did you tell me once, that you had dreams of being in this castle before?"
The birthmark, the braid. Alfred calling him my dear. The overwhelming feeling of familiarity and comfort he feels around Alfred. It can't be.
Could it?
"Did you -- Alfred, this looks lovely," he says first, his voice slightly choked. "Did you tell me once, that you had dreams of being in this castle before?"
Oh - that needle of shock is strong enough to make Alfred's eyes widen a little, his brows furrowing at Herbert's reaction. He looks...confused, exhausted.
"I...I'm glad you like it," he stammers, concern plain on his face. "And...yes, I - I think? It's always felt a little familiar."
The strain in his lover's voice makes him worry - his hand moves to cup his cheek.
"Is something wrong, Herbert?"
"I...I'm glad you like it," he stammers, concern plain on his face. "And...yes, I - I think? It's always felt a little familiar."
The strain in his lover's voice makes him worry - his hand moves to cup his cheek.
"Is something wrong, Herbert?"
"It's just -- " His lower lip trembles and he tries to compose himself. "I was with a boy, when I was young. Before I was turned. He called me my dear, and would braid my hair like this. He had a birthmark like a star. And -- "
A few tears leak out of the corner of his eyes and roll slowly down his cheek and he rests his hand on top of Alfred's. His hands are shaking. His whole body feels like it's shaking, in fact. "You're gentle, like he was. And so, so sweet. You remind me so much of him."
A few tears leak out of the corner of his eyes and roll slowly down his cheek and he rests his hand on top of Alfred's. His hands are shaking. His whole body feels like it's shaking, in fact. "You're gentle, like he was. And so, so sweet. You remind me so much of him."
Edited 2022-01-16 03:51 (UTC)
Alfred isn't sure he's ever seen Herbert like this before - he looks just shy of shattering like glass, like some delicate thing under his touch. "Engel," he breathes, his tone sounding a little strained. He can feel his energy running out, but - he needs to be strong right now. Herbert needs him.
So he listens, pursing his lips and knitting his brow tighter at the explanation. There is...something - something in him stirring, pushing, echoing through his heart.
And with what Herbert is saying....
"...W-wait, are you...trying to say that...I'm...?"
So he listens, pursing his lips and knitting his brow tighter at the explanation. There is...something - something in him stirring, pushing, echoing through his heart.
And with what Herbert is saying....
"...W-wait, are you...trying to say that...I'm...?"
"I don't know. I don't know what I'm trying to say." He takes Alfred's hand and kisses the back of it, then his palm, with a nervous energy he can't quite shake.
"Simply that there are so many things you do that remind me of him. To many things to ignore any longer. I've been trying my hardest not to compare the two of you, but this -- We'd sit together at the tree where we met, at dusk. And he'd braid my hair just like this for me.
It took my by surprise, that's all. A silly notion, nothing more," he says, trying to smile. Trying to dismiss this nagging feeling that somehow Alfred is Solin.
"Simply that there are so many things you do that remind me of him. To many things to ignore any longer. I've been trying my hardest not to compare the two of you, but this -- We'd sit together at the tree where we met, at dusk. And he'd braid my hair just like this for me.
It took my by surprise, that's all. A silly notion, nothing more," he says, trying to smile. Trying to dismiss this nagging feeling that somehow Alfred is Solin.
"A...tree...."
Something about that- in particular, makes Alfred pause - his eyes flick away as he seems to be trying to recall something. Wasn't there a tree he had paused at on the way into the town? He could swear he asked to stop a moment there, to sit, to catch his breath before he had been ushered away by the Professor.
But...he lets it go. Herbert is clearly upset, and all he really wants is to comfort him. Reaching up, he wipes at his tears with his thumbs, putting a sad little smile on himself.
"...If he was important to you, then...I'm...I'm flattered, to hear that I remind you of him. I don't think it's silly at all." My dear, he feels the urge to add, but he tamps it down, wobbling a little where he sits.
"S-sorry, Engel, I'm - I'm very tired...."
And his chest still burns, worse than before - but he dares not mention that now. Herbert is rattled enough.
Something about that- in particular, makes Alfred pause - his eyes flick away as he seems to be trying to recall something. Wasn't there a tree he had paused at on the way into the town? He could swear he asked to stop a moment there, to sit, to catch his breath before he had been ushered away by the Professor.
But...he lets it go. Herbert is clearly upset, and all he really wants is to comfort him. Reaching up, he wipes at his tears with his thumbs, putting a sad little smile on himself.
"...If he was important to you, then...I'm...I'm flattered, to hear that I remind you of him. I don't think it's silly at all." My dear, he feels the urge to add, but he tamps it down, wobbling a little where he sits.
"S-sorry, Engel, I'm - I'm very tired...."
And his chest still burns, worse than before - but he dares not mention that now. Herbert is rattled enough.
"Yes, yes of course." There's a tugging at his chest when he sees Alfred wobble like that. He grips Alfred's shoulders, a little too tight. A little too desperately. "Let's get you down into the crypt, and we'll rest. It's getting close to dawn, anyway."
He's smiling through his tears and he dabs at his eyes a little with his sleeve. "I love you, Alfred. I love you for everything you are. I want you to know that."
He's smiling through his tears and he dabs at his eyes a little with his sleeve. "I love you, Alfred. I love you for everything you are. I want you to know that."
The tightness doesn't go unnoticed - he feels the anxiety from his lover, the needles of panic. He wishes he could look stronger, be less feeble...knowing that his current state is making Herbert so upset bothers him, but he can't help it.
Pulling the blonde in close, he kisses the tracks of his tears.
"I know, Herbert. I love you, too. And...." Oh, he's - he's really dizzy. He leans in, shutting his eyes to try and stabilize himself. Sleep tugs relentlessly at him, and his voice gets a little faint.
"It's okay...if you think of him sometimes. I...I don't mind...."
Whoops. Maybe he couldn't have shut his eyes. He can feel himself starting to drift.
"Mm...might need...you to carry me...t-tired...."
Pulling the blonde in close, he kisses the tracks of his tears.
"I know, Herbert. I love you, too. And...." Oh, he's - he's really dizzy. He leans in, shutting his eyes to try and stabilize himself. Sleep tugs relentlessly at him, and his voice gets a little faint.
"It's okay...if you think of him sometimes. I...I don't mind...."
Whoops. Maybe he couldn't have shut his eyes. He can feel himself starting to drift.
"Mm...might need...you to carry me...t-tired...."
Even though the statement is made tired, on the verge of falling asleep, it's appreciated very much.
He strokes Alfred's cheek and kisses him softly. "I can carry you, my love."
And he stands, lifting Alfred into his arms and cradling him against his chest. Carefully, he carries him down to the crypt, nestling him in the coffin amongst the blankets and pillows. Then he curls up beside him, arms around his waist, head against his chest. Not clinging, not exactly, but certainly holding him close.
He strokes Alfred's cheek and kisses him softly. "I can carry you, my love."
And he stands, lifting Alfred into his arms and cradling him against his chest. Carefully, he carries him down to the crypt, nestling him in the coffin amongst the blankets and pillows. Then he curls up beside him, arms around his waist, head against his chest. Not clinging, not exactly, but certainly holding him close.
"Thank you...."
He can't quite open his eyes as he's carried - but he manages to hold off sleep until he's being placed into the coffin, humming a soft little sound of acknowledgment that they made it down. Tilting his head, he places a blind kiss against his lover's forehead, clutching lightly to him.
"...Good morning...dear...."
And then he falls into slumber, swallowed by his dreams. They seem to be troubled, whatever they are, leaving him making tiny, fretting sounds.
Not long later...in his sleep...
He coughs.
He can't quite open his eyes as he's carried - but he manages to hold off sleep until he's being placed into the coffin, humming a soft little sound of acknowledgment that they made it down. Tilting his head, he places a blind kiss against his lover's forehead, clutching lightly to him.
"...Good morning...dear...."
And then he falls into slumber, swallowed by his dreams. They seem to be troubled, whatever they are, leaving him making tiny, fretting sounds.
Not long later...in his sleep...
He coughs.
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