It's better if he just presses on, rather than think about the past. Better to stay in the here and now.

Honestly, he wishes he could leave more lasting marks. Fingerprint shaped bruises all over Alfred's skin, scratch marks on his back and thighs, dark purple marks he's sucked into his skin. But they all disappear as quickly as he makes them, alas.

It doesn't, however, stop him from trying.