"I'm fine." But his face crumbles even as he says it, tears rolling slowly down his cheeks. "Oh Alfred, I -- "

He clears his throat and stares down into the bowl rather than try to look at Alfred. "I lost someone. Very dear to me. It was a long time ago, but the wounds feel very fresh. Some day I'll be able to talk about it, but for now it's too close. Too real.

Do you see, now? Why I couldn't bear the thought of losing you, too?"