"That is helpful. You're not Christian then, I take it?" It's the only reason he can think of that Alfred might be immune. Crucifixes don't affect Sarah, either.
"No - I was raised that way, but - but I wanted to find my own way when I left home, and...I guess I never found a...concrete answer? I feel that there's something, but...but I don't know who or what."
Faith - that makes sense! He really needs to make a note of that later.
"I, too, was raised Christian. But I turned my back on the Lord after I was turned. I felt that if I had died but yet lived, surely there could be no higher power, for none had intervened, though I called for their aid when I was attacked. For me, there is nothing, and no one. When I reached out and no hand reached back..."
The old vampire shrugs and spreads his hands in a gesture of well there you have it. "And yet sometimes I catch myself praying. Is that odd?"
Alfred listens to all of this, patiently, nodding along a little. It makes sense to him.
"No, it's not odd at all." His smile is a little sad in its understanding.
"Sometimes I pray, too. Even though I don't know who I'm praying to. I think it's...just part of human nature, to want to talk to something bigger than you. Even if neither of us are human anymore."
"I think that's why I visit the graveyard so often. I feel more connected to something grander than myself, here. Whatever that may be.
While I'm glad you're immune to both holy water and crucifixes, I still wish you had not experimented on yourself." Georg gives Alfred as stern a look as he can muster, for he does have a soft spot for the boy. "I'll ask that you don't repeat such experiments, in the future."
...Then he's being stern, and Alfred cringes, shrinking into himself a little. They haven't really...talked about all that, at length, since it happened.
"...I won't, I - I promise. I still feel terribly about it, I know it was...really foolish. I was just so scared that...something was really wrong with me."
"I'm not angry with you," he assures Alfred, cupping his face in his hands and kissing his forehead gently. "I was merely worried, because I care about you greatly and your wellbeing means quite a lot to me."
He does not resist as he's held and kissed - but he still can't quite look at Georg, now that he's thinking about what happened.
"...Thank you," he murmurs, face a little red all the same. "I - I know. It's all still sort of...blurry. Herbert told me you said you...couldn't find me, in my own head?"
"No," he frowns, stroking Alfred's hair tenderly. "It was as though you were lost from yourself. No thoughts, no emotions, simply... raw need."
His voice softens and he rests his forehead against Alfred's, still petting his hair. "I didn't want to lose you. I was so frightened that we might not get you back.
You have people who care for you here, Alfred. People who would miss you very dearly if you were gone."
He shudders, remembering how it felt. "It was...it was so frightening. I remember getting up that night, and I felt...I felt strange, so I went to my room to make a note about it. But then when I got there, there was this...this terrible stab of pain that ran all through me, and I...I felt like I was falling, but I can't remember hitting the ground. And I can barely remember anything before I started to hear you...just...just being cold, and hungry, and...trapped. Like I was gagged and blindfolded in a tiny cage."
Leaning into the touch, he tries to brush off the memory, unpleasant as it all is. He never wants to feel that way again. "...I know that. I never meant for that to happen. I - I don't want to go anywhere. I love it here. I love Herbert, and I love you."
"Hush, my darling," he croons, wrapping Alfred in his cloak again. Trying to make him feel as safe and secure as possible. "I'm so sorry you were so frightened. And even moreso that I made you think of that night again.
But you're safe now. Here, in my arms, nothing can harm you. I won't let anything like that happen to you again. I'm sorry I didn't notice it sooner. Your hunger. I should have caught it before the situation got so dire."
It does make him feel safe, when Georg wraps him up this way. He leans against the older vampire's chest, not crying, but certainly shaken. For all the good that came of it, eventually...that was one of the scariest things he has ever felt. He doesn't say it, he can't - the worst part of it, the part where he wanted to hurt someone, anyone. It makes him sick to think about.
He shakes his head, burying his face in Georg's chest and murmuring, muffled, into the soft fabric of his clothes.
"It wasn't your fault. I was hiding it, from all of you. I promise, I'll never do that again. Never."
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"Actually, there is - I haven't told you, but there is something that I can do that...you and Herbert can't. Something that may help, someday?"
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"Well, they...they weren't for nothing. I did find out that I'm...immune to holy water and crucifixes. They don't hurt me. At all."
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Faith - that makes sense! He really needs to make a note of that later.
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The old vampire shrugs and spreads his hands in a gesture of well there you have it. "And yet sometimes I catch myself praying. Is that odd?"
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"No, it's not odd at all." His smile is a little sad in its understanding.
"Sometimes I pray, too. Even though I don't know who I'm praying to. I think it's...just part of human nature, to want to talk to something bigger than you. Even if neither of us are human anymore."
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While I'm glad you're immune to both holy water and crucifixes, I still wish you had not experimented on yourself." Georg gives Alfred as stern a look as he can muster, for he does have a soft spot for the boy. "I'll ask that you don't repeat such experiments, in the future."
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...Then he's being stern, and Alfred cringes, shrinking into himself a little. They haven't really...talked about all that, at length, since it happened.
"...I won't, I - I promise. I still feel terribly about it, I know it was...really foolish. I was just so scared that...something was really wrong with me."
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"...Thank you," he murmurs, face a little red all the same. "I - I know. It's all still sort of...blurry. Herbert told me you said you...couldn't find me, in my own head?"
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His voice softens and he rests his forehead against Alfred's, still petting his hair. "I didn't want to lose you. I was so frightened that we might not get you back.
You have people who care for you here, Alfred. People who would miss you very dearly if you were gone."
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He shudders, remembering how it felt. "It was...it was so frightening. I remember getting up that night, and I felt...I felt strange, so I went to my room to make a note about it. But then when I got there, there was this...this terrible stab of pain that ran all through me, and I...I felt like I was falling, but I can't remember hitting the ground. And I can barely remember anything before I started to hear you...just...just being cold, and hungry, and...trapped. Like I was gagged and blindfolded in a tiny cage."
Leaning into the touch, he tries to brush off the memory, unpleasant as it all is. He never wants to feel that way again. "...I know that. I never meant for that to happen. I - I don't want to go anywhere. I love it here. I love Herbert, and I love you."
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But you're safe now. Here, in my arms, nothing can harm you. I won't let anything like that happen to you again. I'm sorry I didn't notice it sooner. Your hunger. I should have caught it before the situation got so dire."
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He shakes his head, burying his face in Georg's chest and murmuring, muffled, into the soft fabric of his clothes.
"It wasn't your fault. I was hiding it, from all of you. I promise, I'll never do that again. Never."