Georg looks quietly awed at the gesture. Like he can't quite believes he deserves this. Not one, but two lovers. One who is fiery and passionate and keeps him on his toes, and the other who is so sweetly attentive. So attuned to his moods and needs.
He leans into the touch, eyes fluttering shut at the show of affection. "There is nothing I can think of that brings me more happiness than simply having you near to me."
He blinks, feeling more vulnerable than he meant to be, and adds, "And I'm certain Herbert feels the same."
That is...a very sweet, honest thing, coming from Georg. It isn't that he's not honest, it's just that he holds a lot back, lets a lot hide behind a great many meandering words. Alfred sort of thinks of the way the older vampire speaks as him trying to build a maze around his heart, and you really have to work at it to get there.
He's learning how, bit by bit.
"I'm glad," he nearly whispers, smile bright. "It's nice, being able to make the people I love happy like that."
"How were we blessed with someone so good and kind as you?" He can't imagine ever feeling like he deserves all this happiness. He's felt the same way before, with other lovers, but nothing quite so strong. Not since Adela, all those years ago.
When he had said that Alfred's soul was already theirs, it was meant to be intimidating. Not a hope, like it had now become. The desire for Alfred to belong to them, body and heart and soul. The knowledge that perhaps, in fact, he already does.
"Forgive me," he says, voice choked. Realizing that his own eyes had become misted with tears. "It's a joyous occasion. I'm merely happy for you. For all of us to have you."
It's with a bashful smile that he tries to accept that compliment. It's still kind of hard not to deflect those sorts of comments...but they're given so freely, so often to him that he can't help but start to believe them, at least a little.
Alfred has long since gotten used to seeing Herbert's eyes full of tears - but Georg, much less so. His other hand finds the other side of his jaw, holding his face tenderly with both hands.
"Don't be sorry," he murmurs, shaking his head. "You don't have to be sorry about crying in front of me. I'm...I'm glad that you trust me like that." A pause, consideration, then.... "...I used to be afraid of you, Georg. But...I'm not anymore. Not at all."
"There was a part of me that wanted to be feared by you, at least a little. Or at least, fearsome enough to be a curiosity. I wanted to be for you the sort of darkness you couldn't help but peer into, to want to explore. To seek out that same darkness within yourself."
But oh, so much more of him wanted to be adored by Alfred. To have just this; Alfred's hands against his face, his lips whispering sweet words to him. This, he had wanted since seeing him standing in the window with his candle.
"It worked," Alfred chuckles, softly, "It definitely worked. I...feel that darkness come out, a bit, sometimes, especially when we're...ah...together."
He strokes back along Georg's jawline with both hands, walking his fingers up to smooth his hair behind his ears. "I sort of...I sort of like that, you know. You and Herbert both call to...different parts of me. I'm still figuring it all out, but it's...."
He sniffles a little.
"I feel like I'm finally learning who I actually am. And...and I think I like him."
Georg sighs and shivers, holding still and allowing Alfred to touch him. So sweetly. Always so sweetly. "You are so many things I had no idea I was yearning for until I met you. Like I dream I couldn't quite remember, a memory I couldn't quite place. Something I didn't dare believe could possibly be real.
I very much like who you are. Who you've grown to be. I'm only glad that you like him, too."
If you had told Alfred that this is how things were going to go just months ago, he would not have believed you - standing here in the cemetery, whispering sweet nothings to Count Von Krolock, who he met out here to ask for Herbert's hand in marriage.
It's all a bit strange, still.
But he's happy. They all are, with this arrangement. And if no one is hurt, then...he supposes there is nothing wrong.
"...I feel that way about you, too. About all of this. And that's why I want to do this - why I want to make it permanent, in front of everyone. This is home. This is where I belong. At Herbert's side, and under your wing."
"Under my wing." The turn of phrase makes him laugh softly; appropriate, given how Alfred is currently wrapped in his cloak. "I am more than happy to take you under my wing, Alfred. My offer from our first meeting still stands, of course. It may take me many years to teach you all I have learned about this life after death, but you are worth the time, and the effort."
"That is helpful. You're not Christian then, I take it?" It's the only reason he can think of that Alfred might be immune. Crucifixes don't affect Sarah, either.
"No - I was raised that way, but - but I wanted to find my own way when I left home, and...I guess I never found a...concrete answer? I feel that there's something, but...but I don't know who or what."
Faith - that makes sense! He really needs to make a note of that later.
"I, too, was raised Christian. But I turned my back on the Lord after I was turned. I felt that if I had died but yet lived, surely there could be no higher power, for none had intervened, though I called for their aid when I was attacked. For me, there is nothing, and no one. When I reached out and no hand reached back..."
The old vampire shrugs and spreads his hands in a gesture of well there you have it. "And yet sometimes I catch myself praying. Is that odd?"
Alfred listens to all of this, patiently, nodding along a little. It makes sense to him.
"No, it's not odd at all." His smile is a little sad in its understanding.
"Sometimes I pray, too. Even though I don't know who I'm praying to. I think it's...just part of human nature, to want to talk to something bigger than you. Even if neither of us are human anymore."
"I think that's why I visit the graveyard so often. I feel more connected to something grander than myself, here. Whatever that may be.
While I'm glad you're immune to both holy water and crucifixes, I still wish you had not experimented on yourself." Georg gives Alfred as stern a look as he can muster, for he does have a soft spot for the boy. "I'll ask that you don't repeat such experiments, in the future."
...Then he's being stern, and Alfred cringes, shrinking into himself a little. They haven't really...talked about all that, at length, since it happened.
"...I won't, I - I promise. I still feel terribly about it, I know it was...really foolish. I was just so scared that...something was really wrong with me."
"I'm not angry with you," he assures Alfred, cupping his face in his hands and kissing his forehead gently. "I was merely worried, because I care about you greatly and your wellbeing means quite a lot to me."
He does not resist as he's held and kissed - but he still can't quite look at Georg, now that he's thinking about what happened.
"...Thank you," he murmurs, face a little red all the same. "I - I know. It's all still sort of...blurry. Herbert told me you said you...couldn't find me, in my own head?"
"No," he frowns, stroking Alfred's hair tenderly. "It was as though you were lost from yourself. No thoughts, no emotions, simply... raw need."
His voice softens and he rests his forehead against Alfred's, still petting his hair. "I didn't want to lose you. I was so frightened that we might not get you back.
You have people who care for you here, Alfred. People who would miss you very dearly if you were gone."
He shudders, remembering how it felt. "It was...it was so frightening. I remember getting up that night, and I felt...I felt strange, so I went to my room to make a note about it. But then when I got there, there was this...this terrible stab of pain that ran all through me, and I...I felt like I was falling, but I can't remember hitting the ground. And I can barely remember anything before I started to hear you...just...just being cold, and hungry, and...trapped. Like I was gagged and blindfolded in a tiny cage."
Leaning into the touch, he tries to brush off the memory, unpleasant as it all is. He never wants to feel that way again. "...I know that. I never meant for that to happen. I - I don't want to go anywhere. I love it here. I love Herbert, and I love you."
"Hush, my darling," he croons, wrapping Alfred in his cloak again. Trying to make him feel as safe and secure as possible. "I'm so sorry you were so frightened. And even moreso that I made you think of that night again.
But you're safe now. Here, in my arms, nothing can harm you. I won't let anything like that happen to you again. I'm sorry I didn't notice it sooner. Your hunger. I should have caught it before the situation got so dire."
It does make him feel safe, when Georg wraps him up this way. He leans against the older vampire's chest, not crying, but certainly shaken. For all the good that came of it, eventually...that was one of the scariest things he has ever felt. He doesn't say it, he can't - the worst part of it, the part where he wanted to hurt someone, anyone. It makes him sick to think about.
He shakes his head, burying his face in Georg's chest and murmuring, muffled, into the soft fabric of his clothes.
"It wasn't your fault. I was hiding it, from all of you. I promise, I'll never do that again. Never."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2022-02-03 04:24 am (UTC)He leans into the touch, eyes fluttering shut at the show of affection. "There is nothing I can think of that brings me more happiness than simply having you near to me."
He blinks, feeling more vulnerable than he meant to be, and adds, "And I'm certain Herbert feels the same."
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Date: 2022-02-03 04:32 am (UTC)He's learning how, bit by bit.
"I'm glad," he nearly whispers, smile bright. "It's nice, being able to make the people I love happy like that."
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Date: 2022-02-03 04:53 am (UTC)When he had said that Alfred's soul was already theirs, it was meant to be intimidating. Not a hope, like it had now become. The desire for Alfred to belong to them, body and heart and soul. The knowledge that perhaps, in fact, he already does.
"Forgive me," he says, voice choked. Realizing that his own eyes had become misted with tears. "It's a joyous occasion. I'm merely happy for you. For all of us to have you."
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Date: 2022-02-03 05:11 am (UTC)Alfred has long since gotten used to seeing Herbert's eyes full of tears - but Georg, much less so. His other hand finds the other side of his jaw, holding his face tenderly with both hands.
"Don't be sorry," he murmurs, shaking his head. "You don't have to be sorry about crying in front of me. I'm...I'm glad that you trust me like that." A pause, consideration, then.... "...I used to be afraid of you, Georg. But...I'm not anymore. Not at all."
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Date: 2022-02-03 05:18 am (UTC)But oh, so much more of him wanted to be adored by Alfred. To have just this; Alfred's hands against his face, his lips whispering sweet words to him. This, he had wanted since seeing him standing in the window with his candle.
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Date: 2022-02-03 05:30 am (UTC)He strokes back along Georg's jawline with both hands, walking his fingers up to smooth his hair behind his ears. "I sort of...I sort of like that, you know. You and Herbert both call to...different parts of me. I'm still figuring it all out, but it's...."
He sniffles a little.
"I feel like I'm finally learning who I actually am. And...and I think I like him."
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Date: 2022-02-03 05:40 am (UTC)I very much like who you are. Who you've grown to be. I'm only glad that you like him, too."
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Date: 2022-02-03 05:55 am (UTC)It's all a bit strange, still.
But he's happy. They all are, with this arrangement. And if no one is hurt, then...he supposes there is nothing wrong.
"...I feel that way about you, too. About all of this. And that's why I want to do this - why I want to make it permanent, in front of everyone. This is home. This is where I belong. At Herbert's side, and under your wing."
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Date: 2022-02-04 04:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-04 04:30 am (UTC)"Actually, there is - I haven't told you, but there is something that I can do that...you and Herbert can't. Something that may help, someday?"
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Date: 2022-02-04 04:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-04 05:05 am (UTC)"Well, they...they weren't for nothing. I did find out that I'm...immune to holy water and crucifixes. They don't hurt me. At all."
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Date: 2022-02-04 05:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-04 05:12 am (UTC)Faith - that makes sense! He really needs to make a note of that later.
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Date: 2022-02-09 01:26 am (UTC)The old vampire shrugs and spreads his hands in a gesture of well there you have it. "And yet sometimes I catch myself praying. Is that odd?"
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Date: 2022-02-09 01:36 am (UTC)"No, it's not odd at all." His smile is a little sad in its understanding.
"Sometimes I pray, too. Even though I don't know who I'm praying to. I think it's...just part of human nature, to want to talk to something bigger than you. Even if neither of us are human anymore."
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Date: 2022-02-09 01:49 am (UTC)While I'm glad you're immune to both holy water and crucifixes, I still wish you had not experimented on yourself." Georg gives Alfred as stern a look as he can muster, for he does have a soft spot for the boy. "I'll ask that you don't repeat such experiments, in the future."
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Date: 2022-02-09 02:02 am (UTC)...Then he's being stern, and Alfred cringes, shrinking into himself a little. They haven't really...talked about all that, at length, since it happened.
"...I won't, I - I promise. I still feel terribly about it, I know it was...really foolish. I was just so scared that...something was really wrong with me."
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Date: 2022-02-09 02:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-09 02:37 am (UTC)"...Thank you," he murmurs, face a little red all the same. "I - I know. It's all still sort of...blurry. Herbert told me you said you...couldn't find me, in my own head?"
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Date: 2022-02-09 02:41 am (UTC)His voice softens and he rests his forehead against Alfred's, still petting his hair. "I didn't want to lose you. I was so frightened that we might not get you back.
You have people who care for you here, Alfred. People who would miss you very dearly if you were gone."
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Date: 2022-02-09 02:50 am (UTC)He shudders, remembering how it felt. "It was...it was so frightening. I remember getting up that night, and I felt...I felt strange, so I went to my room to make a note about it. But then when I got there, there was this...this terrible stab of pain that ran all through me, and I...I felt like I was falling, but I can't remember hitting the ground. And I can barely remember anything before I started to hear you...just...just being cold, and hungry, and...trapped. Like I was gagged and blindfolded in a tiny cage."
Leaning into the touch, he tries to brush off the memory, unpleasant as it all is. He never wants to feel that way again. "...I know that. I never meant for that to happen. I - I don't want to go anywhere. I love it here. I love Herbert, and I love you."
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Date: 2022-02-09 02:57 am (UTC)But you're safe now. Here, in my arms, nothing can harm you. I won't let anything like that happen to you again. I'm sorry I didn't notice it sooner. Your hunger. I should have caught it before the situation got so dire."
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Date: 2022-02-09 03:10 am (UTC)He shakes his head, burying his face in Georg's chest and murmuring, muffled, into the soft fabric of his clothes.
"It wasn't your fault. I was hiding it, from all of you. I promise, I'll never do that again. Never."