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"I promise. I...I did learn some things. Important things. But...but we can talk about it later."
Alfred does not hide his feelings well. He never has - and so his concern for the way Herbert looks is plain on his face, gentle and kind and loving. He looks to where their hands are resting together, then back up to meet his eyes.
"But...I want you to be okay, too, Herbert."
Alfred does not hide his feelings well. He never has - and so his concern for the way Herbert looks is plain on his face, gentle and kind and loving. He looks to where their hands are resting together, then back up to meet his eyes.
"But...I want you to be okay, too, Herbert."
"I'm fine." But his face crumbles even as he says it, tears rolling slowly down his cheeks. "Oh Alfred, I -- "
He clears his throat and stares down into the bowl rather than try to look at Alfred. "I lost someone. Very dear to me. It was a long time ago, but the wounds feel very fresh. Some day I'll be able to talk about it, but for now it's too close. Too real.
Do you see, now? Why I couldn't bear the thought of losing you, too?"
He clears his throat and stares down into the bowl rather than try to look at Alfred. "I lost someone. Very dear to me. It was a long time ago, but the wounds feel very fresh. Some day I'll be able to talk about it, but for now it's too close. Too real.
Do you see, now? Why I couldn't bear the thought of losing you, too?"
Watching Herbert's mask fall away, Alfred's eyes widen - he listens, carefully, as he speaks...and as he does, a chill runs down his spine, for reasons he can't understand. His heart aches for his lover, sympathetic tears springing to his own eyes as he FEELS the sorrow, the heartbreak.
(His lungs, useless now, burn. Why?)
"Engel...I...." Reaching out with his free hand, he carefully rests his long fingers along Herbert's jaw, using his thumb to wipe away a tear as it falls.
"I'm so sorry, Herbert. I do. I do see." His own tears fall freely now - he can't seem to stop them, or stop the faint tremble that's shaking his body. Why? What is that, slinking around the edges of his memory?
Sniffling, he guides Herbert gently to look at him again.
"You have me. I'm not going anywhere. You...you need me. And I need you. This was - this was stupid of me...but no more. I swear it."
(His lungs, useless now, burn. Why?)
"Engel...I...." Reaching out with his free hand, he carefully rests his long fingers along Herbert's jaw, using his thumb to wipe away a tear as it falls.
"I'm so sorry, Herbert. I do. I do see." His own tears fall freely now - he can't seem to stop them, or stop the faint tremble that's shaking his body. Why? What is that, slinking around the edges of his memory?
Sniffling, he guides Herbert gently to look at him again.
"You have me. I'm not going anywhere. You...you need me. And I need you. This was - this was stupid of me...but no more. I swear it."
Herbert presses his cheek against Alfred's palm, letting himself be comforted. It feels a little selfish, but he needs it, right now.
"I do. I do need you. And I will, always. I'm going to take care of you, Alfred. Until you're well again, I'll take care of you."
He could ask his father to do it. He could avoid forcing himself to face such dark memories. But he needs to be brave. For Alfred, he can be brave.
"I do. I do need you. And I will, always. I'm going to take care of you, Alfred. Until you're well again, I'll take care of you."
He could ask his father to do it. He could avoid forcing himself to face such dark memories. But he needs to be brave. For Alfred, he can be brave.
Alfred wouldn't care if Herbert were being selfish. He would give all he has to give just the same, without question, because... that's just who he is.
Besides, it's nice to be needed, and that's a little selfish too.
"Thank you, Engel. I love you." He wicks away another tear, smiling a sad, lopsided little smile. Now that he's fed a little, he feels a bit better...but still frail, that burn in his chest making him feel like he should rest again.
But not yet, not yet, something else in him urges.
"...C-can I...will you get the brush, so I can brush out your hair? I can tell you haven't yet tonight, and...." He lets the statement drop, but the meaning is clear - he's seeking normalcy. Alfred likes the quiet ritual of helping Herbert see to his hair, the gentle intimacy of the action.
Besides, it's nice to be needed, and that's a little selfish too.
"Thank you, Engel. I love you." He wicks away another tear, smiling a sad, lopsided little smile. Now that he's fed a little, he feels a bit better...but still frail, that burn in his chest making him feel like he should rest again.
But not yet, not yet, something else in him urges.
"...C-can I...will you get the brush, so I can brush out your hair? I can tell you haven't yet tonight, and...." He lets the statement drop, but the meaning is clear - he's seeking normalcy. Alfred likes the quiet ritual of helping Herbert see to his hair, the gentle intimacy of the action.
He debates for a moment, then reaches up to start undoing the ropes around Alfred's wrists. "Oh -- forget what father says. I trust you. You're not going to hurt me, now.
I'd love for you to brush my hair. I must look a little wild right now, I know. But first promise me to finish this bowl, all right?" Once Alfred is untied, he hands over the bowl and spoon.
It will feel nice, having Alfred brush his hair. It will help calm them both, help them feel better about tonight. Settle them in to get ready to sleep in a few hours.
I'd love for you to brush my hair. I must look a little wild right now, I know. But first promise me to finish this bowl, all right?" Once Alfred is untied, he hands over the bowl and spoon.
It will feel nice, having Alfred brush his hair. It will help calm them both, help them feel better about tonight. Settle them in to get ready to sleep in a few hours.
"No - no, I would never."
The moment his wrists are untied, Alfred groans with relief, rubbing at them as he watches Herbert speak. Obediently, he takes the bowl and spoon - he's still hungry, after all, even now that he's calmed.
"Of course, Engel," he agrees, setting immediately to sipping at the blood - politely. Eating too fast in his state seems like a bad idea.
Something is still bothering him, but he can't put his finger on it - and honestly, he just wants to lift the mood, now. As soon as he finishes with the bowl, he sets it aside, focusing up and retracting his fangs (with some difficulty) to prove he's got his control back.
Maybe proving it to himself as much as to anyone else.
The moment his wrists are untied, Alfred groans with relief, rubbing at them as he watches Herbert speak. Obediently, he takes the bowl and spoon - he's still hungry, after all, even now that he's calmed.
"Of course, Engel," he agrees, setting immediately to sipping at the blood - politely. Eating too fast in his state seems like a bad idea.
Something is still bothering him, but he can't put his finger on it - and honestly, he just wants to lift the mood, now. As soon as he finishes with the bowl, he sets it aside, focusing up and retracting his fangs (with some difficulty) to prove he's got his control back.
Maybe proving it to himself as much as to anyone else.
"Good boy," Herbert coos and kisses Alfred's cheek. "We'll have you back to normal in no time. Now you don't move a muscle. I'll bring everything over here to you."
And he does, moving over to the vanity where he's started keeping some of his things. A bottle of perfume, a brush, a small ornate box filled with ribbons and hairpins. He brings the brush and the box over to the bed, sitting crosslegged in front of Alfred.
"Do with me as you please."
And he does, moving over to the vanity where he's started keeping some of his things. A bottle of perfume, a brush, a small ornate box filled with ribbons and hairpins. He brings the brush and the box over to the bed, sitting crosslegged in front of Alfred.
"Do with me as you please."
The kiss is returned with a little smile, sleepy and placid. He's glad to make Herbert happy - glad that, maybe, they can put the worst of the night behind them.
When his lover sits down, Alfred immediately sets to work, taking up the brush and gently, calmly running it through his long blonde locks, softly working out tangles with his fingers.
"First you tie me to the headboard, then you tell me to do what I want with you. Mixed messages, Engel."
A joke, spoken lightly. His voice is...a little bit strained, but at least there is joy in it.
When his lover sits down, Alfred immediately sets to work, taking up the brush and gently, calmly running it through his long blonde locks, softly working out tangles with his fingers.
"First you tie me to the headboard, then you tell me to do what I want with you. Mixed messages, Engel."
A joke, spoken lightly. His voice is...a little bit strained, but at least there is joy in it.
"Oh now we're making jokes!" Herbert laughs, holding still so Alfred can detangle his hair. Hours of running his fingers through it nervously have left it a bit of a mess.
"All good things in time, I promise you."
"All good things in time, I promise you."
There's a little giggle at that - he's glad the joke got a laugh. It's relatively recent that he's gotten comfortable enough with his own sexuality to start saying things like that out loud.
"Well, I'm sure those good things will be worth the wait." Once the tangles are suitably worked through, Alfred sets the brush down...then, automatically, he reaches out and starts to section the hair.
He's braided Herbert's hair before, but a French braid is about as elaborate as he has managed - but impulse makes him do things a little differently this time.
There's that burning in his chest again. He tries to ignore it.
"Well, I'm sure those good things will be worth the wait." Once the tangles are suitably worked through, Alfred sets the brush down...then, automatically, he reaches out and starts to section the hair.
He's braided Herbert's hair before, but a French braid is about as elaborate as he has managed - but impulse makes him do things a little differently this time.
There's that burning in his chest again. He tries to ignore it.
It's been a pleasant night for Alfred - Herbert has gone out to hunt, and the younger vampire has decided to see to some of the laundry in the meantime. Koukol deserves a break now and again, after all, and it has never quite been comfortable for Alfred to be waited upon.
Neatly folded in his arms are a number of Georg's shirts and pants, mended and cleaned - he's pretty sure that Koukol had said the Count was outside, and so he doesn't knock on the door to his room before throwing it open, humming a bit to himself -
And then stopping short.
Oh.
The...Count is not outside.
"O-oh-!"
Neatly folded in his arms are a number of Georg's shirts and pants, mended and cleaned - he's pretty sure that Koukol had said the Count was outside, and so he doesn't knock on the door to his room before throwing it open, humming a bit to himself -
And then stopping short.
Oh.
The...Count is not outside.
"O-oh-!"
"There is so much you can learn. So much that you can be taught."
He taps his finger against the stack of books with a small, knowing smile. "Try reading some of these. If you have questions I know Herbert will be happy to help you try out think that sounds interesting, or that you think you might like. Or if you have something you want to surprise Herbert with, I'm also happy to answer any questions you may have."
He taps his finger against the stack of books with a small, knowing smile. "Try reading some of these. If you have questions I know Herbert will be happy to help you try out think that sounds interesting, or that you think you might like. Or if you have something you want to surprise Herbert with, I'm also happy to answer any questions you may have."
"You're a young man with longings and desires. Some of them you may not realize you have yet. I'm merely trying to open you up to new possibilities that you may have not been aware were options."
He leans forward in his chair, watching Alfred intensely. With a quiet curiosity. "I meant what I said, the first night we met. I want to teach you what it means to live, I want to show you a world you may have never imagined. Perhaps only dreamed of. You can turn to me with anything you want answers to. No matter what the subject."
He leans forward in his chair, watching Alfred intensely. With a quiet curiosity. "I meant what I said, the first night we met. I want to teach you what it means to live, I want to show you a world you may have never imagined. Perhaps only dreamed of. You can turn to me with anything you want answers to. No matter what the subject."
Alfred takes a moment before he even tries to reply, meeting Georg’s stare with an equally curious stare right back. It’s true that he’s still getting used to the Count and his particular brand of intensity…but slowly, he feels he’s coming to understand him.
He hesitates, turning the words over in his head, then -
“…Have I…ever told you about my Father?”
He hesitates, turning the words over in his head, then -
“…Have I…ever told you about my Father?”
That earns one of his eyebrow arches, and he rests his hand against his chin, leaning a little closer. "No, not at any sort of length. But if you wish to discuss him, please do."
At this, Alfred smiles - but it's strained...sad, in a way that is different from his normal expressions. Hurt. Old, deep hurt.
"...My family name is Schreiber. Scholars, on my Father's side. He's an archivist. Very old fashioned, god fearing, but very smart. I could ask him anything about science, or history...and he would tell me where to find a book."
His gaze wanders down to the stack on his lap, a hand resting on the top cover.
"...But if I asked about anything like this? If he found anything that he thought was...was inappropriate, or vapid, or...or feminine, it was always the same. He would tell me that wasn't what a good man would want to do."
Bright blue eyes travel back up to Georg.
"...But... you're a good man. And you don't treat me like I'm any less, for wanting to know anything."
"...My family name is Schreiber. Scholars, on my Father's side. He's an archivist. Very old fashioned, god fearing, but very smart. I could ask him anything about science, or history...and he would tell me where to find a book."
His gaze wanders down to the stack on his lap, a hand resting on the top cover.
"...But if I asked about anything like this? If he found anything that he thought was...was inappropriate, or vapid, or...or feminine, it was always the same. He would tell me that wasn't what a good man would want to do."
Bright blue eyes travel back up to Georg.
"...But... you're a good man. And you don't treat me like I'm any less, for wanting to know anything."
Oh, his heart aches for poor Alfred. To have such a closed minded man as a father, to have someone turn away questions simply because he didn't approve of them seems awful. Unfair.
"Books are a fine place to start, but there are some things a book cannot teach. Some things come from experience. Some from asking questions."
It's his turn to smile sadly, and he brushes his fingers over Alfred's cheek lightly. "Thank you for saying so, Alfred. I am not so good as all that. But thank you for thinking so."
"Books are a fine place to start, but there are some things a book cannot teach. Some things come from experience. Some from asking questions."
It's his turn to smile sadly, and he brushes his fingers over Alfred's cheek lightly. "Thank you for saying so, Alfred. I am not so good as all that. But thank you for thinking so."
That unfairness has definitely taken a toll - he's really only just starting to loosen up enough to really come out of his shell. This conversation simply would not have happened months ago.
"You're right about that. That's something...I have learned here, especially."
At the protestation, Alfred frowns a little - acting on impulse, he reaches up to rest his hand over Georg's, holding it against his jaw firmly.
"If you weren't a good man, I don't think you would argue with me telling you you are. I have...I have worked under a terrible man for a long time. I would know."
"You're right about that. That's something...I have learned here, especially."
At the protestation, Alfred frowns a little - acting on impulse, he reaches up to rest his hand over Georg's, holding it against his jaw firmly.
"If you weren't a good man, I don't think you would argue with me telling you you are. I have...I have worked under a terrible man for a long time. I would know."
The touch surprises him, his eyes going wide for a moment. "I -- "
He clears his throat. Touched, but there are some wounds too deep to heal quite so quickly. "Thank you, Alfred. But I know what I am. I can only hope to teach you better, so that you may learn from mistakes that I have made."
He clears his throat. Touched, but there are some wounds too deep to heal quite so quickly. "Thank you, Alfred. But I know what I am. I can only hope to teach you better, so that you may learn from mistakes that I have made."
It's a long moment before he responds - staring straight at the much older vampire, near unblinking, still holding his hand in place.
"...Well, then...maybe good and bad don't matter so much, anyway."
And then all at once, he seems to realize what he's doing - and he goes very red, finally breaking the eye contact and gently releasing the pressure on Georg's hand.
"I - s-sorry, that was...ah..."
"...Well, then...maybe good and bad don't matter so much, anyway."
And then all at once, he seems to realize what he's doing - and he goes very red, finally breaking the eye contact and gently releasing the pressure on Georg's hand.
"I - s-sorry, that was...ah..."
"No -- don't apologize. I rather liked it." He caresses Alfred's cheek tenderly before he takes his hand away.
"As for good and bad, I think I blurred that line a long time ago. I'm neither and both at the same time. Somewhere in between."
"As for good and bad, I think I blurred that line a long time ago. I'm neither and both at the same time. Somewhere in between."
"O-oh...."
Alfred flushes deeper as his eyes wander back up to the older vampire, shuddering lightly under the caress. He sucks in a breath he doesn't need, letting it out in a small, shuddering sigh.
There is a rising terror in the back of his head at what he is feeling - something he feels that he should, perhaps, NOT be feeling right now about his boyfriend's father. In spite of himself, he swallows hard, mouth dry.
'Collect yourself, Alfred....'
"I think...I like that about you, though. I don't...feel that I have to be...good enough for you. To talk to you."
Alfred flushes deeper as his eyes wander back up to the older vampire, shuddering lightly under the caress. He sucks in a breath he doesn't need, letting it out in a small, shuddering sigh.
There is a rising terror in the back of his head at what he is feeling - something he feels that he should, perhaps, NOT be feeling right now about his boyfriend's father. In spite of himself, he swallows hard, mouth dry.
'Collect yourself, Alfred....'
"I think...I like that about you, though. I don't...feel that I have to be...good enough for you. To talk to you."
"But you are, Alfred. Good enough. Not just to talk to me, but you are good enough for anything you wish. Anything you desire." He reaches out to take Alfred's hand, stroking his thumb over his knuckles.
"I know Herbert has spoken to you about this. How you never see yourself as enough but you are. Trust me, you are."
"I know Herbert has spoken to you about this. How you never see yourself as enough but you are. Trust me, you are."
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