Normally he'd make a joke about Alfred's big presence, but he's honestly quite touched by the statement. His expression softens and he brushes their lips together delicately.
"Then I won't hold back, around you. I was worried, when we first met. How much of a presence I had. That that's what scared you off. Though now I realize it was likely my trying to bite you."
Alfred pauses a moment, realizing they haven't truly discussed this for what it really was. "...Herbert, I wasn't scared off by you. I was scared of...of what I felt. At the time, I...I still didn't realize that it was all right, being attracted to another man. I still thought there was something wrong with me."
Gently, he fingercombs Herbert's hair as he speaks.
"I don't want you to hold back. I never did. I - was afraid, but not...not for the reasons I think you thought I was."
I suppose I never realized how lucky I was. Growing up with people who understood me, who encouraged me. Having the privilege to be and love who I wanted.
But you know that now, yes? That there's nothing wrong with this. With us."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2022-05-20 02:19 am (UTC)He shudders a little under the scratches - the situation is...not one where he has his Usual Reaction to the sensation, but still it makes him squirm.
"Engel, I don't think you're too much at all. I love how you are, how - big your presence is. How you light up a room.
I would gladly handle a few moods to get to be around you while you shine, Herbert."
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Date: 2022-05-20 02:28 am (UTC)"Then I won't hold back, around you. I was worried, when we first met. How much of a presence I had. That that's what scared you off. Though now I realize it was likely my trying to bite you."
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Date: 2022-05-20 04:22 am (UTC)Alfred pauses a moment, realizing they haven't truly discussed this for what it really was. "...Herbert, I wasn't scared off by you. I was scared of...of what I felt. At the time, I...I still didn't realize that it was all right, being attracted to another man. I still thought there was something wrong with me."
Gently, he fingercombs Herbert's hair as he speaks.
"I don't want you to hold back. I never did. I - was afraid, but not...not for the reasons I think you thought I was."
no subject
Date: 2022-05-21 12:22 am (UTC)I suppose I never realized how lucky I was. Growing up with people who understood me, who encouraged me. Having the privilege to be and love who I wanted.
But you know that now, yes? That there's nothing wrong with this. With us."
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Date: 2022-05-24 04:48 am (UTC)Gently, he places a kiss on his lover's cheek.
"I know now, yes. There's nothing at all wrong with us. I love you. That's just fact."
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Date: 2022-05-25 10:25 am (UTC)There's a low rumble of thunder and Herbert tries to pull Alfred even closer. "Do you think it's moving away again?"